Live in the Flow of the Inner Self: Scottsdale's Paula Muran shows us how to live in the flow of life and feel a sense of inner peace

Have you dreamed of living in the flow of life, feeling a sense of inner peace, speaking your truth and the ability to express your true feelings no matter what anyone else thinks about you? Is 2012 the year you want to actually live your life? We are sculpted into who we are from an early age. Like sticky notes we acquire data from outside sources and claim this data as ours. We begin to believe the ideas of others and start living life to fulfill expectations without ever questioning what we really want and who we really are.

Our minds are filled with negative talk and self-doubt, and we harbor feelings of unworthiness and despair. These thoughts create an inner clamor that makes it difficult to find peace and calmness. Anger, fears and resistances become part of our character. A habit of thinking certain thoughts locks us into patterns of behavior that cause depression, sadness and a lost feeling.

Deep in the inner caverns of you is an aspect that is called the authentic, true self. We are the closest to this aspect when we are young children. As we mature, we lose the connection to the true self and wander into a life with a hope to succeed. The true self doesn't need to be fixed, changed or controlled. The true self is intuitive and wise. It doesn't harbor feelings of resistance, fear, unworthiness. It doesn't lie or frighten you.

Rather, it loves without conditions, is compassionate and free. Throughout your life you have had glimpses of this true self, an inner awareness that emerges when you feel safe. However, rarely do you feel secure enough to really connect with this innate aspect, the true self. Personal freedom is the ability to express this innate aspect (true self) without feeling unworthy, distrustful, fearful, confused, angry and disconnected.

Freedom allows you to express your divinity and allows the true self to emerge. This is the power of you. To live freely means you place importance on beliefs that strengthen, fulfill and honor you. It's time to feel freer, lighter and happier in your life. You become freer when you aren't a victim; slow down; are gentle, kind and compassionate with yourself; and don't take anything personally.

It is hard to imagine that nothing anybody says or does has anything to do with you, but it's true. Each person's opinion is solely the product of their own reality. By taking another person's opinion of you to heart and choosing to believe it, you are doing yourself a huge injustice. When we get offended, angry and internalize negativity, it means we believe what they say is truth.

Instead of reacting to statements and shutting down even further, we must stop, take a deep breath, pause and connect to the true self. Don't be a victim. The world does seem like it's against us sometimes. Have you ever had one of those days where everything goes wrong? You can't control the world around you, but you can control the way you react to it. Whenever we refuse to take responsibility for ourselves, we are unconsciously choosing to react as a victim. This inevitably creates feelings of anger, fear, guilt or inadequacy and leaves us feeling betrayed or taken advantage of by others.

The victim trap says you don't have rights, you can't say no and no one loves you. Embrace each and every situation that happens as an opportunity for growth. When something "bad" happens, ask, "What is the lesson here?" Often, lessons tell us to slow down and come back to the present moment and listen to your inner self. Accept situations as signs or opportunities, and remember that there is a purpose and a greater good to each.

Look for the lesson, rather than getting stuck in victim mode. My new favorite mantra when the times are tough is "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Remember, we only make changes when in conflict, so feel the gratitude for all things at all times. This is incredibly freeing.

Be gentle, kind, and compassionate with yourself. When you look in the mirror, do you see your beauty or do you pick yourself apart? Are your thoughts kind, or are you your own worst critic? Work on shifting thoughts to those that are loving and kind. Every time you think something negative about yourself, replace it with a positive.

Focus on the good things and give attention to the phrase "I am." I am happy, I am alive, I am free—and eventually, you will start believing them. Doing so allows you to have the freedom to just be you and love it.

Paula Muran is offering an Empower Your Feminine Self transformational weekend experience from Sept. 29 to 30, in Scottsdale. Learn more at 866-231-0023 or PaulaMuran.com.