JADE—A Self-Care Technique

Whether it’s a complaining co-worker, a nasty neighbor or a boorish relative, we all have people in our lives who seem to get a kick out of causing disharmony wherever they go. Silently fuming or “taking the bait” and getting into a negative discussion with an unhealthy person isn’t effective.

Save your serenity and guard your own physical well-being by using the JADE technique.

We’re not talking about the gemstone, but a simple acronym that really works when dealing with difficult people. And it works not by doing something, but by not doing something. Here it is.

Don’t: Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain

Justify – If what you’re doing is legal, moral and not against company policy or hurting anyone, you need not justify your actions.

Argue – Decide ahead of time to avoid useless arguments. Choose not to argue by simply saying, “You may be right.” Maybe they’ve won a dubious battle, but you are at peace.

Defend – You’re not on the witness stand. If you are comfortable with your actions, you don’t need to defend yourself to anyone.

Explain – Actions and decisions that are yours to make, don’t hurt another and aren’t outside the law don’t need to be explained. Don’t be a walking apology.

It’s interesting to note that for thousands of years, jade has been used for its healing qualities and ability to absorb negative energy. If you want to have a tactile reminder to use this remedy, jade stones are available online at Etsy.com for just a few dollars as well as at many farmers’ markets. Place a few of the stones on your desk, dresser or nightstand as a gentle nudge.

As with any self-care technique, remembering to use JADE may be “one step forward, two steps back,” but persistence will really pay off. Have faith, persevere, and progress will surely follow.

Claire Rabe is a Phoenix-based author, journalist and writing coach who has written health, lifestyle, career and business features for more than 20 years. She has written two nonfiction books, ghostwritten and edited several others, and led writing workshops for new authors. Rabe coaches writers that want to go to the next level with their work. Connect with her at [email protected].