Resist Resistance!
Aug 31, 2022 06:53AM ● By Catherine Bongiorno
Elnur/123rf.com
Change. Will there ever come a time when we
don’t deeply resist it? Much change is out of our control and widely viewed as
unpleasant (being laid off, developing an illness, losing a loved one). It is
human nature to want to avoid such events, but what about change that we sense
is for our greater good? Why do we attempt to avoid this as well? Is expanding
out of our comfort zones really such a traumatic event?
The mind will argue back and forth with itself:
Yes, change is difficult, but necessary to evolve and grow. No! Change is risky
and we’re doing just fine in life as is. Yes, we must embrace going through a
period of discomfort as our lives shift for the better. WRONG: We’d be wise to
stay put, where we know what’s in store and don’t have to fret over the
unknown.
Watching both adults and kids attempt to enter
an active ocean is a fascinating example of resistance and how it so often does
not serve. With much trepidation, adults will inch their way into the water,
emanating fear and anxiety as the current poses a seemingly real threat. Seeing
a wave approach, they frantically turn and run back toward the safety of the
beach, never actually getting in and enjoying the water. Or they tiptoe in,
only to panic and attempt to retreat as they see an approaching wave. Too late:
The wave comes down on them and sends them somersaulting into shore. They
struggle to clamber out, fighting the current with gusto, only to get pulled
back in and tossed about once more. It’s quite a scene, but the grown-ups
succeed in staggering out of the water to the safety of their palapas—likely with no intention of ever
again braving the ocean.
Now turn attention to the children on the
beach, taking on the very same waves that terrorize the adults—only these kids
are not fighting or resisting the flow of the ocean. They whoop with delight as
the water pulls them in, and laugh as it spews them back up the shore. They are
unafraid, unhurt and are having the time of their lives. The exact situation
that causes the adults to struggle, resist and feel fear brings these kids no
harm—and more astoundingly, it fills them with great joy.
What an incredible lesson to be learned from
this scenario. Keep in mind, this is not a suggestion to charge head first into
the Caribbean Sea and let the water carry us away to kingdom come. Rather, it’s
a suggestion that we work on facing inner resistance and fear that is so often
unsubstantiated. Can we stop resisting what’s happening in life and instead dance
with it? Can we quit negatively labeling everything that moves us out of our
comfort zones? Could we learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable? As
author Susan Jeffers suggests, can we feel the fear and do it anyway?
How to proceed? Baby steps are less
intimidating than giant leaps. When we push out of our comfort zones by making
small changes, we build confidence in our ability to handle major change.
What better place to start than with a health
program? What if we got up off the couch and took a walk outside, no matter how
deeply we want to stay holed up (i.e., safe)? Or skipped the boring treadmill
routine and took a Zumba class; who cares if our dancing skills aren’t worth a
hill of beans? Instead of the usual pedaling on a stationary bike, we could
take a hike, working the body in a different way than we are used to. Perhaps
challenge our anxiety of working out in front of others and get to the gym or a
fitness class. More often than not, our fear is totally overblown, and when we
keep giving in to it, we miss out on growth, adventure and endless possibility.
And when we do challenge our fear by making a
scary but positive change, no matter how small, giving ourselves credit and
showing gratitude is paramount. This, more than anything, will propel us to
keep confronting resistance. After all, the opposite of fear isn’t courage or
even bravery—it’s LOVE.
Catherine Bongiorno was a health and fitness columnist for The Everett Herald, in Seattle, WA, for more than four years. She moved to Sedona five years ago and owns Lift To Lose Fitness & Nutrition, where she offers private personal training, small-group training and weight-loss consulting in West Sedona and the Village of Oak Creek. Connect with her at 425-791-4488 or [email protected]. Also visit SedonaPersonalTrainer.com.